After a lengthy weekend of actually goin' to Joe Joe's wedding and then dealing with a broke down car directly after, it's time for part 2 of our Bend Saga!!!! Strap yourselves in and get ready...When we last left our rowdy bunch of bachelors, they were preparing for an evening of shenanigans. We all decided that we should church it up some for the night ahead so everyone got into their finest duds and met in the dining room. John decided that we all needed name tags adorn with goofy nicknames and such to match our dressy kits. He also had decided that the Bachelor himself needed proper attire. This consisted of a viking helmet and battle axe. Now that our crew was ready to terrorize the city of Bend we hopped into the rented minivans and headed downtown.
Our mission was to find somewhere to get mass quantities of beer and some food. Being that we were in Bend, naturally this squad of beer freaks was excited to go hit the Deschutes Brew house. Well, when you roll with 15 dudes, it makes it kinda hard to find seating to accomodate. So the Deschutes told us to come back in 15 mins and see if they could rustle up some chairs for us. We decided that beer was strongly in order so we went around the corner to a local hole-in-the-wall. Upon entering, the first 5 or so of us were greeted by an official Bendy. This mullet rolling local saw us enter and, checking to make sure his audience was paying attention, promptly turn towards all the other bar goers and yelled, "NERDS!!!!!!" in his best hill-billy tone. He quickly changed his mind and ushered himself out of the bar when he realized that there was about 10 more guys coming in with us. Our crew sat down after making a grand entrance and ordered some pitchers of beer!!! Their was some of the local wildlife on the prowl that night in the pair of two cougars parked at a table close by to us. We seemed to peak their interest. We also seemed to peak the interest of a younger local guy who was exstatic at the magnitude of our group. Once it was divulged the we were there to celebrate our friends final days of bachelorhood, this young loc was even more intrigued. He promptly shouted, " You need to get some titties on this man's head!!!!!" We assured him we would.
At this point Colin had run back to the Deschutes to see if they could accomodate us and found that they had given away our prospected tables. So we decided to stay with our new found friends in they tiny local dive and order food and more beer. Our young local attachment decided he needed an honorary name tag, so we obliged. He was syked (not a feeling shared by his girlfriend who arrived shortly later to find him wound up and wearing a name tag bearing the code name A-WHOLE). So as we sat and drank our self appointed instigator got more restless the boobs had not found their way to Joe Joe's head yet. We all finished up and decided that it was time to head to Stars Cabaret, the only strip club in town. At this piont, both our drivers were saturated enough that two van cabs sounded like a good way to get to our next location.
As we arrived at the strip club, we were once again befriended by a young local. He appeared to be a Bend snowbro, down to show us some Central Oregon hospitality. He informed us that he was roomies with a few of the girls who worked there and got us "hooked up" with a psuedo VIP status. Now, since I am a true gentlemen, I'll let your imagination fill in what happened at the gentlemen's establishment. After a few hours later though, I was sober enough to drive home and ready to go. Darius, Colin, Chris and I walked back to get one of the vans to shuttle us all home. A short walk later, we returned, called a cab for those who didn't fit in our one minivan and headed to our homestead. Some of us stay up to rage a lil longer, but I was off to sleep so I could make the 3 1/2 hour drive the next day.
Sunday we cleaned up the house, wrote a lil more about our antics in the house's guest log and pilled into the vans to head back to our normal lives in larger civilization. All and all, a pretty good way to send out a pretty good friend!!!!!! Cheers Joe Joe!!!!!
Remember...Gunz Don't Kill People...d
