Keep BENDing Over...

After a lengthy weekend of actually goin' to Joe Joe's wedding and then dealing with a broke down car directly after, it's time for part 2 of our Bend Saga!!!!  Strap yourselves in and get ready...When we last left our rowdy bunch of bachelors, they were preparing for an evening of shenanigans.  We all decided that we should church it up some for the night ahead so everyone got into their finest duds and met in the dining room.  John decided that we all needed name tags adorn with goofy nicknames and such to match our dressy kits.  He also had decided that the Bachelor himself needed proper attire.  This consisted of a viking helmet and battle axe.   Now that our crew was ready to terrorize the city of Bend we hopped into the rented minivans and headed downtown.

       Our mission was to find somewhere to get mass quantities of beer and some food.  Being that we were in Bend, naturally this squad of beer freaks was excited to go hit the Deschutes Brew house.  Well, when you roll with 15 dudes, it makes it kinda hard to find seating to accomodate.  So the Deschutes told us to come back in 15 mins and see if they could rustle up some chairs for us.  We decided that beer was strongly in order so we went around the corner to a local hole-in-the-wall.  Upon entering, the first 5 or so of us were greeted by an official Bendy.  This mullet rolling local saw us enter and, checking to make sure his audience was paying attention, promptly turn towards all the other bar goers and yelled, "NERDS!!!!!!"  in his best hill-billy tone.  He quickly changed his mind and ushered himself out of the bar when he realized that there was about 10 more guys coming in with us.  Our crew sat down after making a grand entrance and ordered some pitchers of beer!!!  Their was some of the local wildlife on the prowl that night in the pair of two cougars parked at a table close by to us.  We seemed to peak their interest.  We also seemed to peak the interest of a younger local guy who was exstatic at the magnitude of our group.  Once it was divulged the we were there to celebrate our friends final days of bachelorhood, this young loc was even more intrigued.  He promptly shouted, " You need to get some titties on this man's head!!!!!"  We assured him we would.

       At this point Colin had run back to the Deschutes to see if they could accomodate us and found that they had given away our prospected tables.  So we decided to stay with our new found friends in they tiny local dive and order food and more beer.  Our young local attachment decided he needed an honorary name tag, so we obliged.  He was syked (not a feeling shared by his girlfriend who arrived shortly later to find him wound up and wearing a name tag bearing the code name A-WHOLE).  So as we sat and drank our self appointed instigator got more restless the boobs had not found their way to Joe Joe's head yet.  We all finished up and decided that it was time to head to Stars Cabaret, the only strip club in town.  At this piont, both our drivers were saturated enough that two van cabs sounded like a good way to get to our next location.

        As we arrived at the strip club, we were once again befriended by a young local.  He appeared to be a Bend snowbro, down to show us some Central Oregon hospitality.  He informed us that he was roomies with a few of the girls who worked there and got us "hooked up" with a psuedo VIP status.  Now, since I am a true gentlemen, I'll let your imagination fill in what happened at the gentlemen's establishment.  After a few hours later though, I was sober enough to drive home and ready to go.  Darius, Colin, Chris and I walked back to get one of the vans to shuttle us all home.  A short walk later, we returned, called a cab for those who didn't fit in our one minivan and headed to our homestead.  Some of us stay up to rage a lil longer, but I was off to sleep so I could make the 3 1/2 hour drive the next day.

       Sunday we cleaned up the house, wrote a lil more about our antics in the house's guest log and pilled into the vans to head back to our normal lives in larger civilization.  All and all, a pretty good way to send out a pretty good friend!!!!!!  Cheers Joe Joe!!!!!

Remember...Gunz Don't Kill People...d

Bend Over...Joe

As I realized today that my old roomie's (and one of my best friend's) wedding had really snuck up on me this week, I took a minute to reflect on the awesomeness that was the bachelor party...Now I must preface this tale with the fact that no one was almost arrested as in previous bachelor parties.  But let me kick you a few facts first.  1 Bend OR rental house (bousting that is was a fully equiped mansion on the web).  2 rented minivans.  15 guys ready to celebrate manhood.  Countless bottles of booze...

        On friday when Colin, Chris Isles and I went to pick up the minivans, I started off the tone for the weekend by asking the girl at the rental agency what their "Teen Wolfing" policy was...Sadly, she missed the reference.  We then headed down to get the rest of the crew. 

        Fast forward one long fairly uneventful car ride to arriving in Bend.  We went straight to the store to get food and yes, booze.  The plan was to bbq and rage at the house for the first night...And rage we did.  So much so that around 1 or so in the morning our neighbors decided they were tired of the rowdy crew and our shananigans.  Shortly after Tim and Will finished bobsledding down the stairs in a plastic orange sled from the garage, the manager of the rental properties showed up on our front porch very disgruntled.  After talking to her for about fifteen minutes, Maggot John slammed the door shut and said, "Hmm, Sue wasn't as nice as I had expected."  Well, on with the partying with the music slightly lower than before, only to be put on pause again half an hour later by an apologetic policeman.  He had been sent out by the neighbors too apparently and informed us he was sorry to bother us and that he hoped his visit to the house that night wouldn't taint our trip or view of Bend.  I've never actually had a cop apologize so profusely before.  We offered for him to join us but sadly he HAD to decline...

        The next day, hungover as hell, most of us went for a hike in the woods to go swimming.  Nothing says manliness like racing through the forrest in minivans, hiking on dirt paths, topped off with jumping into mountain run off water in your clothes.  When we returned home to the rental house, the others had awoke and cleaned...Wierd I know.  So we ate sandwiches, drank and began to discuss the plans for the evening.  Around 7 or so we all showered, got dressed and plan our attack.  Stay tuned for night # 2...Remember...Gunz Don't Kill People...d

Short Wide...

So I'm tired of people cuttin' shirts real shitty.  You have your choice of short wide or slim fit...How bout you just make em normal width but a little longer huh????  I mean, just cause I'm a short wide dude, doesn't mean I want my shirts cut that way!!!!!  And there's no way I'm gonna be one of those dudes who, unrealistically thought that even though he's put on a few pounds in the last few years, that a premium slim fit cotton tee would still look good.  Knock it off with that by the way.  No one wants to see a chubby dude in a slim fit tee...Trust me, I know...I thought about rollin' tall tees just to get the extra length but realized that it wasn't really a good idea when I found out it looked more like a dress on me.  I swear, the only ones who are still cuttin' shirts the way they should be cut is Jordan apparel!  So until every one else figures it out, I wanna be like Mike...I guess...Just Remember...Gunz Don't Kill People...d

Gettin' Up and Gettin' Over...

Whenever I go out to shoot, I seem to be extremely drawn (no pun intended) to graffitti.  Maybe it's cause I listen to too much Lil' Wayne and NaS, but who knows.  I've been shooting photos of it for years.  Stay tuned for a color study on the local graffitti around my house...Remember...Gunz Don't Kill People...d

Surroundings...

Just one of many shots I got back from the lab today.  I've been all about my half frame camera lately...Remember...Gunz don't kill people...d

Choad-O-Rama

Apparently I missed the memo but Friday night was Choadfest at the Thirsty Lion.  Luckily for me, I stayed home and went to sleep...But here's my newest question.  Why would you go to a skate shop if you don't skateboard?  All summer long I've been pondering this, as Saturday after Saturday I see the biggest Chads walk into Pharmacy and proceed to only ask about/show interest in Diamond and Nike SB.  Hey!!!!  I don't know if you caught this or not, but the "SB" part of that name stands for skateboarding you douchebags!!!!!  And Diamond is a SKATEBOARD hardware company.  I realize you just thought they made expensive designer shirts, but they are a legit skate company originally.  Anyways, I'm out to Everyday Music to go buy the new NaS album since I noticed it was out now...Just remember...Gunz don't Kill people...d

Under the Boardwalk...

There's so much i could rant about right now, but I'm not feeling particularly whitty.  So sit back and relax and enjoy this image of the boardwalk in Santa Monica...

Bridgetown

I'm really drawn to shooting photos of bridges.  Yeah, I know, weird being that I live in Portland...Just remember...Gunz Don't Kill People...d

Vlads, Chads, and Douche Bags...

So I had this great idea the other day at work...Why not set up a site to continue my favorite hobby of talking shit about random choads I come into contact with daily.  It would be glorious.  I wanted to name it Chads, Vlads, and Douchebags. I could catalog these choads daily and put em on blast.  Maybe even set-up a D-Bag of the Day...Well, after ranting about the awesomeness of this idea and my plans to put it into effect, I came to the realization that cataloging douchebags everyday was more work than my lazy ass was cut out for.  So instead I present to you this blog...Just remember,  Gunz Don't Kill People...d